What car suits your personality?

It is often said that owners and their dogs look alike, but what about car lovers? While many petrolheads may not look quite as at home in the middle of a busy motorway as their pride and joy; it is worth considering what type of person is drawn to which type of performance vehicle. With used cars becoming more affordable, it’s becoming increasingly simple for the average enthusiast to squeeze themselves into the driver’s seat of a car that may well have been a poster on their bedroom wall as a child. So without further ado, here are a few categories of performance-oriented machinery, and who you might most likely find holding the keys.

The two-seater

The quintessential petrolhead mode of transport. One look at it tells you all you need to know; the owner likes to look good, drive fast, and most importantly, not be the designated driver. Extra points if it has a stupidly big engine with a turbo or supercharger, or if it weighs less than a yoga instructor. They are impractical, usually quite thirsty, and you can hear them coming before you see the car-shaped blur zoom past you. You will find three types of people behind the wheel of these: Twenty-somethings who spend their entire paycheck on insurance premiums and petrol, thereby having to live with their parents forever; executive type business-women who want something expensive, stylish, and preferably convertible; and middle-aged men whose children have finally moved out, allowing them to spend their hard-earned on a very expensive weekend toy. You judge them jealously as you see them go by, telling your friend in a loud voice that they probably can’t even drive it properly. That’ll make you feel better.

The ‘luxo-barge’

Luxury barge. Think Jaguar XJ8 and Mercedes S500. For the aspirational aristocrat or foreign diplomat, except no-one is driving it for them. Hefty fuel bills and expensive parts mean that these V8 powered hotels-on-wheels have plummeted in price, making them very affordable if you don’t mind mpg figures in the mid-teens. So they are less likely to be driven by a company CEO, and more likely to be driven by your mate Dave from the pub. These cars are for the sort of chap (or chapess) who is less concerned with getting to their destination quickly, and more concerned with getting there relaxed, well-massaged from the luxury seats, and exquisitely dressed. And if some yobo in a hot hatch does want to try it on, you’ll disappear into the distance with nothing more than a gentle, quiet surge, as your innumerable horses get to work under the bonnet.

The ‘on-road off-roader’

Also known as the ‘Chelsea tractor’, and excellent for managing the school run in comfort, style, and safety. However, there is a darker side to this coin. It may be difficult to believe, but some owners actually enjoy getting their cars muddy. Make way for a Bob Gillingham Ford F-150 you clean freaks. For the adventurer who likes to disappear at the weekend and take their living quarters with them, as well other crazy objects like surfboards, parachutes, or quad bikes. Much like its owner, it will spend all weekend in a field without a shower; but will somehow still be clean and presentable for the 9 o’clock meeting at the office on Monday. Remarkable.

There are many other personalities to take into account, but these should cover most bases for the enthusiasts. Have a look at what’s on your driveway and see if it matches your personality.

** This is a collaborative post